Ted Talk: “How to overcome our biases? Walk boldly toward them"
Speaker: Vernā Myers
Topic: “Vernā Myers looks closely at some of the subconscious attitudes we hold toward out-groups. She makes a plea to all people: Acknowledge your biases. Then move toward, not away from, the groups that make you uncomfortable."
Highlights from my review:
- "I can't imagine the pain of trying to protect your child and all the while knowing that it's not enough. That he may fall victim to circumstance just for the color of his skin"
- "I love the concept of celebrating fellow human beings for who they are and what they do rather than attempting to friend them just for the color of their skin"
- "I will not only teach my little girl the importance of self-love, but the importance of loving her fellow human beings. I will teach her that white does not have to be her default and black does not have to be her fear"
Watch the Ted Talk: available on Netflix as well as online here
No more than three minutes into this Ted Talk I began to view Vernā Myers as a mother. I'm not sure whether it was the orange dress which was draped ever-so-classily across her frame, something not unlike the outfits I've seen my own mother wear to her boutique for work every morning. Or maybe it was the way she smiled at the audience and spoke to them like she was trying to teach them gently, the way only a mother can. In any case, I began to see Myers as a mom and it made me wonder whether she had children. The next thought that occurred to me made my heart hurt. I realized, irrevocably, that if in fact Mrs. Myers did have children, a son let's say, she would be living in constant fear that her black son could be a target of racism, police brutality, even murder just for being black. I'm not a mother, but I know the way mine looks at me, with such love and hope in her eyes. I can't imagine the pain of trying to protect your child and all the while knowing that it's not enough. That he may fall victim to circumstance just for the color of his skin. Like Michael Ferguson. Like Eric Garner. Like so many other innocent black men whose names I will never learn with mothers whose pain will never heal.
In her Ted Talk, "How to overcome our biases? Walk boldly toward them", Myers offers a three-step plan to break the cycle of broken-hearted mothers, victimized black men, and above all: bias. The first step is easy as honesty - that is, if being honest were always easy. Nobody wants to think of themselves as a "racist" and yet we are all guilty of experiencing racial bias. According to Myers, in order to begin to battle bias we must stop denying that it exists. One of my favorite sayings in terms of life and recovery is "we cannot change that which we do not accept". Myers insists that even someone who does as much diversity work as herself still senses her own biases everyday. She cites an example of traveling on a plane with a female pilot. Initially psyched to have a female pilot navigating - girl power YEAH! - Myers begins to feel anxious and silently wishes for a male pilot after the plane hits a bit of turbulence (Myers). Rather than denying having felt this anxiety, Myers recognizes it and launches into her discussion of what she refers to as "the default" (Myers). When it comes to operating a complicated piece of machinery, Myers defaulted to feeling most comfortable with a man. She then poses the questions, "Who is your default? Who do you trust? Who are you afraid of? Who do you implicitly feel connected to? Who do you run away from?" (Myers).
Building on this idea of "the default", Myers introduces step number two in her game plan for obliterating bias. Even though most people's "default", those who they feel most comfortable trusting, is people of white skin - as reported by the implicit association test - Myers encourages the audience to "move towards young black men not away from them" (Myers). It's true that 70% of white people prefer a white person when tested and 50% of black people tested prefer white as well, but instead of demanding we all go color blind (news flash we've tried that), Myers comples the audience to simply "stare at awesome black people" because "when we look at awesome folks who are black, it helps to dissociate the association automatically in our brain" (Myers).
I personally love the ideology behind step number two. I love the concept of celebrating fellow human beings for who they are and what they do rather than attempting to friend them just for the color of their skin. Because isn't that a form of bias too, albeit positive? And as for step number three, well that's all about courage. Myers closes her discussion by imploring the audience to speak up when they hear racial bias being thrown about casually. Whether it's at the family dinner table, at a club with the girls, or even in line at the DMV, we must be brave enough to challenge these words of bias if we ever want to see them disappear completely. If we want children to quit hearing biased statements, we must remind the adults in their lives not to utter them in the first place.
This Ted Talk left me impressed with the connection between breaking and building. In order to break biases we must build relationships with young, black men. If we want to break the current cycle of violence and victimization we must build up the courage to point out error when it occurs. One day I hope to be a mother, to a strong, smart, independent daughter. I will not only teach my little girl the importance of self-love, but the importance of loving her fellow human beings. I will teach her that white does not have to be her default and black does not have to be her fear. I will teach her with a mother's love, the same love that Verna Myers has for her boy.